8 steps to negotiation mastery...
By Ian Hirst, Greenbank CEO
In the realm of negotiation, few books have made as profound an impact as Chris Voss’s “Never Split the Difference.” Drawing on his experience as a former FBI hostage negotiator, Voss suggests some powerful strategies that can be applied in both professional and personal situations.
So – even if you have already mastered the process of negotiation, here are some more advanced ideas, inspired by Voss’s work, to help us be successful during challenging negotiations – for example when…
- Stakes are high
- Emotions are getting in the way
- The other person is being ‘difficult’
- There seems to be no obvious win:win
In these situations, Voss argues that too readily compromising or splitting the difference leads to suboptimal outcomes for both parties. Instead, he advocates actively understanding the other party’s needs, clear communication, and creative problem-solving. In other words, aiming for a win-win solution where both parties feel their interests are met.
However, this is perhaps easier said than done – so what can we practically do to achieve this?
To help us here, at the heart of Voss’s work is a skill that negotiators often don’t use enough – sincere active listening! We’d support this – in the last few years over a thousand clients have been through our Win-Win Negotiation workshops and we have witnessed many role-plays where people are more interested in talking about what they want rather than really understanding the other party.
Voss takes this concept to the next level by leveraging some latest neuroscience research and here we have broken it down into 8 specific tips for you to try out…
1. Tactical Empathy
Negotiation might be about dealing with differences, but when these differences seem intractable, its easy to become increasingly assertive about your own needs and proposals. This can of course lead to the other person responding in kind and the gap widens…
Instead, Voss emphasised the importance of both understanding and actively acknowledging the emotions and perspectives of the other party. By demonstrating genuine empathy, you create a connection that can pave the way for successful negotiations. It’s not about agreeing with them but about showing that you understand their situation.
Example: Instead of dismissing a client’s concerns about pricing or explaining why your price is fair, first acknowledge their feelings by saying, “It sounds like you’re worried about the cost-effectiveness of this solution”.
2. The Power of Mirroring
Mirroring is a simple yet powerful technique where you subtly reflect back the other person’s speech patterns, tone, and body language. This fosters rapport and encourages them to share more information. One simple way to try this is to repeat the last few words they said, which prompts them to elaborate and feel heard.
Example: If a client says, “I’m really concerned about the contract terms” you can respond with, “Concerned about the terms? I understand – which terms in particular are you concerned about?” This both shows that you’re listening and avoids you being defensive – as a result they are more likely to open up further.
3. Labelling Emotions
One highly effective way to show you are fully engaged and listening to the other party is to explicitly name the emotion you sense they are feeling. Showing that you are really paying attention and are not treating them in a transactional way. As long as you do this sincerely, it can diffuse negative emotions and help to build trust.
Example: During a tense negotiation, you might say, “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated with the current payment schedule.”
4. Accusation Audit
Often in sales or negotiation situations, we are aware of some of the negative preconceptions the other party might have about your company or the solution you are offering. It’s tempting to simply ignore these and hope they don’t come up, but the downside of this is that they don’t get addressed – or even worse they lie in the back of the client’s mind throughout the negotiation and constantly effect the way they deal with you.
So, before entering a negotiation, Voss advises conducting an ‘Accusation Audit’ – putting yourself in their shoes and writing down anything negative they might be thinking about your proposal.
Then during the meeting find an opportunity to pre-emptively address any negative perceptions the other party might have. By acknowledging potential objections or concerns upfront, you can defuse them and gain the other party’s trust.
Example: You might say “You might think that we’re not flexible on pricing, but let’s discuss how we can work together to find a solution that fits your budget.”
There are 2 big advantages of doing this..
- Trigger Empathy: When you vocalise these negative perceptions, it often triggers empathy in the other party. They may even want to reassure you that you’re not as bad as you’ve portrayed yourself, which can lead to a more collaborative and positive interaction.
- Reset the Dynamic: By addressing these negative emotions upfront, you can diffuse the situation, reset the negotiation dynamic and encourage the other party to seek common ground.
5. Your Voice is your Key Instrument
Another useful technique is the deliberate use of your voice. Your voice is one of the key instruments used in negotiations, sometimes the only one. And your tone can heavily influence the outcome. There are two main voice tones that Voss recommends.
The first is positive and playful and Voss suggests this should be your default voice. Try to speak while smiling and you’ll notice that your voice has an easy-going tone. That’s what you’re aiming for. When you project a positive attitude, people are more likely to collaborate with you and find a solution to the problem.
The second voice is what Voss labels the late-night FM DJ voice, which should be used selectively, particularly when things get heated. It includes a downward inflection and has a calm, slow pace. If used correctly, it should create a feeling of authority without triggering defensiveness. And it should communicate that you’re in control of the situation but generate a safe space for both parties. Used well, it helps to lower the tension and creates a sense of calm, making the other party more receptive to your proposals.
6. NO is Not the End
In Voss’s approach, “no” is not a rejection but an opportunity to explore deeper needs and motivations. When you hear “no,” it’s a signal that the other party has concerns that need to be addressed. Use it as a chance to pivot the conversation and uncover the root of their hesitation.
Example: If a client says, “No, we can’t proceed with this plan,” respond with, “What is it about this plan doesn’t work for you?” This opens the door to further discussion and problem-solving.
7. Addressing Irrational Needs
Irrational needs often underpin many negotiation scenarios. These needs can be driven by deeper emotional desires rather than logical reasoning. Understanding and addressing these irrational needs can be the key to unlocking successful outcomes in negotiations.
Voss emphasises that acknowledging these needs can help you connect on a more profound level. For instance, a counterpart might be driven by a need for recognition, respect, or a sense of security. Identifying these underlying motivations allows you to tailor your approach accordingly.
Example: If a colleague is insistent on a particular decision, consider why they might be taking that stance. If you sense it could be all about recognition, then acknowledging their expertise and contributions can help to address this underlying need and move the negotiation forward.
8. The Power of Fairness
Fairness is a critical element in negotiations, as it can significantly impact the willingness to come to an agreement. This works in 2 distinct ways:
- People have a deep-seated need to feel they are being treated fairly
- In turn, no-one wants to behave in an unreasonable way – a famous study showed that even inmates on death row did not think their previous behaviour was unreasonable!
Example: During a price negotiation, make it clear how the price you are suggesting is fair and reasonable – e.g. explicitly share how your price has been calculated, or relate the price suggested to that offered to other similar clients.
In summary....
Negotiation is an art, and Chris Voss’s “Never Split the Difference” work offers a masterclass in honing this crucial skill. By applying tactical empathy, mirroring, labelling emotions, addressing irrational needs, and other techniques outlined in the book, you can transform your approach to negotiation and achieve more successful outcomes.
Remember, the key to effective negotiation is not just in what you say, but in how you listen and respond.
As you might have gathered, we definitely recommend the book – so if you want to know more, hop over to Amazon and check it out!
Greenbank and Negotiation
Over the last 20 years, we have worked with professional services firms, technology companies and sales organisations of all shapes and sizes to develop their negotiation capabilities. If you would like to explore how Greenbank might support your organisation, we would be delighted to begin the conversation…. so give us a call on (+44) 7812 074359 or use the contact form below to get in touch.
About Greenbank
Greenbank are an innovative, ‘boutique’ consultancy delivering completely tailored leadership, negotiation and sales development programmes to clients ranging from top 5 global firms to tech start-ups.
We are now delighted to be running truly blended programmes, which make the most of both virtual platforms and interactive face-to-face workshops, to deliver motivational, cost-effective development.
We also have our own industry-leading, multi-lingual, 360° assessment platform, Navigator360 which provides our clients and other training providers with a completely flexible approach to gathering powerful confidential feedback.
If you would like to discuss how we can help your own sales or leadership teams, then we would be delighted to have a relaxed conversation – please email us using the contact button below or call us on (+44) 7812 074359.